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Meg's instagram: @insulinaddict_aus
My burn out was such a detrimental time in my life. That year will always be so vivid to me. During this time I unfortunately created unhealthy coping mechanisms especially with my diabetes management and how I reacted when things in my life got tough. To this day, they are habits that I have found hard to break. Flashback to 2010. Or what my mum and I refer to as “My Big Burnout Year”.
"While I’m able to reflect with a new found strength, there is an underlying sense of sadness as we endured a lot of heartache, frustration and trauma during that time."
As a teenager so much is already changing. When hormones are thrown in the diabetes mix needless to say, these are extremely challenging years. I was bombarded at that age. I had a busy schedule. My priorities had definitely changed through my transition to high school. The last thing I wanted to think about was my diabetes. I was beginning to have tunnel vision and felt like I had had the condition forever – a feeling I had never noticed before. I was slowly seeing diabetes more and more of a burden. I adopted a victim mentality, became very sensitive and detached from my management. I could never see past the why me?’s. And honestly? I just didn’t want to have diabetes anymore.
What I comprehend now is that by age 12 I faced a diabetes milestone that impacted me greatly at the time. You see I realised that from that year on I was always going to have lived with type one for more than half of my life. I look back and wish I could hug that girl, tell her she’d accomplish so much despite diabetes, but I think she just never knew how to deal with that thought. She didn’t know there were resources out there. Didn’t know who to talk to or who would truly get it. While she knew it was too big to carry she was too scared to put it out in the open. Fearing if the words were spoken it would make it real. That there is something wrong with me.
What came with keeping things bottled up for me was the fear of what people would think. Would I be seen as a Negative–Nancy? No-one likes a complainer. Would people tell me ‘it can’t be that hard’? Suck it up Meg. Would people judge? Maybe if you took better care of yourself you wouldn’t be feeling like this. Would all the effort my family put toward my health be for nothing? An overarching guilt for the sacrifices my brother, sister, mum and dad have had to make for me. Oh boy, how in the world could I keep doing this forever? I just don’t want to.
What I did not realise was that I was overwhelmed and experiencing diabetes burn out.
"I’m really happy we live in a world where talking about your feelings is encouraged more and more."
It is one thing I wish I had done sooner and what I know now would have saved a lot of diabetes heartache that caught up with me in recent years.
In sharing my story I hope you are able to take a few things away
To carers, friends and family, try to ask me how I am not what my level is. If my level is 16 don’t tell me what I’ve done wrong. For all you know I might have had a completely normal human reaction to a breakup and spent the night crying my eyes out.
Acknowledge your diabetes milestones. Let yourself feel the emotions they bring. Angry? Sad? Proud? Talk about it with those who understand. Or with people you wish to understand. Celebrate if you feel like it. And try to feel empowered at the fact that you continue to get by despite not wanting to.
Remember that everyone has their vice. Not to be mistaken for your feelings aren’t valid because xyz has gone through this or that, but because it is easy to stay in the diabetes bubble and forget that literally everyone is tired. Everyone wants things to be easy. Everyone is dealing with something.
"Basically don’t get caught up in wishing your life away and thinking that everyone else has their life together."
In my 26 years of life I’m yet to meet someone who has.
Insulin is an important hormone in the process of converting glucose into energy so without it your energy levels will be low. It's a hard concept to understand when the last thing you feel like doing while being burned out is looking after your diabetes, but chances are the lousy feeling you are experiencing is just being heightened through higher levels and lack of insulin. The better control you have, the lighter it will feel I promise.
From someone who has been there. You just have to keep going. And if you don’t feel like it today that’s ok. But promise you’ll try again tomorrow. xx
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I also became diabetic type 1 just before my 13th birthday.. my brother was 8,. I knew I had diabetes although nobody seemed to notice that at 5 ft 9 inches tall, that I shouldn’t be 88 lbs. I had lost at least 25 lbs becauseI I stopped eating and rarely drinking anything. I was exhausted and sometimes just cry. They noticed my little brother because he started getting up a few times a night and going downstairs but turning left instead of right. The only bathroom was on the right side but he would always turn the wrong way and head into my father’s den. We would guide him to the bathroom, he was sleepwalking, he never even knew he was getting up at night.
I on the other hand knew I would hardly be noticed. I didn’t want to go to the bathroom much, so I didn’t eat and hardly drank anything. After they had taken my brother to the hospital and then home after his diagnosis, my mother realized she should take me to the doctor. She noticed finally that I was extremely thin and also that I wasn’t eating. She did a urine test on me ( back then we put urine in a test tube and a pill or something and see what color the urine was. I tested at 4+ meaning my blood sugar was extremely high. She packed a bag because she thought they would admit me to the hospital. The doctor just brushed it off even after my mother brought in the urine and told him that I tested 4+. This doctor didn’t believe that i could have type 1 diabetes because he said that usually another child would have it too. He made me do a glucose tolerance test, which I had to drink coke syrup and then get blood tests over 4 hours about every hour or 30 mins. I don’t remember this very much. After, we were sent home for the weekend. I told my mom that I knew I was diabetic but I would like to have a piece of cake for my birthday the following day.
She let me. We were out in the country and had a party line ( There were 4 or 5 household on this line and your phone would be ring and then the next household 2 rings, etc)
The saturday( my birthday), after supper and my cake, our number was ringing. The hospital had been trying to reach my mother because my blood sugar was 1500 ( yes, really 1500). They had her bring me to the hospital to be admitted. We were told that I should be comatose at that level. That. Year my brother and I were basically traumatized. It ended up that we had some genetic anomaly that type 1 was in our DNA. They had no counseling or anything for young or teenagers to help us through the challenges. This was 1971. So now I have gone through changes of insulin. How you take it, different ways to test your blood sugar such as test tape, glucose meters, and pump sensors ( which often failed), now to the different CGMs. There many challenges over the years, it is better now still not perfect, but easier .
I recognized my daughter at 2 1/2 yesterday was diabetic. I tested her urine and it was 4+. She looked healthy but she never had requested another glass of juice right after she just had 1.
Now the emergency room staff thought I was nuts that my daughter’s BS was very high. So finally they did a blood test and the lab tech told the nurses that yes I was correct. So my toddler was taken to pediatrics wing and they had to put an IV in her head because her veins were deep and rolled in her arms I stayed with her until they kicked me out. So this was extremely devastating to me realizing I had passed this # life sentence# to my toddler.
I am now 67 years old. Other traumatic events from our disease have happened over the years and it continues. So far my grandchildren have not showing any signs of this disease. This is am grateful for.
This is a very honest and helpful post. Meg has outlined some great truths. One that resonated with me (I’m type 1) was not comparing yourself with others. Everyone has some sort of challenge and no one has it all together. She gave hope that the burden will lessen and encouragement to just keep going. Great advice.
This article is very helpful. Meg’s wisdom belies her young age. Thank you Meg for sharing your life and how you’ve dealt with burnout.